Suicide is a word that gets everyone’s attention. It’s a word that evokes fear, despair, helplessness, and anger to many people. To those who are not consumed with suicidal depression and despair, it’s difficult to understand what causes so many individuals to take their own lives. But a suicidal person is in so much pain that he or she can see no other viable option.
Suicide is a desperate attempt to escape suffering that has become unbearable. Blinded by feelings of self-loathing, hopelessness, and isolation, a suicidal person can’t see any way of finding relief except through death. But despite their desire for the pain to stop, most suicidal people are deeply conflicted about ending their own lives. They wish there was an alternative to suicide, but they just can’t see one.
While adults ages 52-59 have the highest rate of suicide, middle-aged white males make up almost 70% of all suicides. However, they are far from the only ones. Just type a few letters in any search engine with the phrase “how to commit suicide” and many options for autofill will appear showing you how often the question has been asked. The older folks are not the ones doing the searching.
Suicide and suicidal ideation are at an all-time high (pre-pandemic). One study reported 17% of all high school students seriously considered suicide the previous year (JAMA 2005;293(6):707–714). Suicidal ideation, sometimes referred to as suicidal thoughts, describes thoughts, fantasies, ideas, or images related to committing suicide. Passive ideations usually do not include a plan, while active ideations can.
Today I will focus on what to do if you, a friend, or loved one is experiencing active suicidal ideations. It is imperative that we take all suicidal concerns seriously. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) WISQARS Leading Causes of Death Reports, in 2017:
o Suicide was the tenth leading cause of death overall in the United States, claiming the lives of over 47,000 people.
o Suicide was the second leading cause of death among individuals between the ages of 10 and 34, and the fourth leading cause of death among individuals between the ages of 35 and 54.
o There were more than twice as many suicides (47,173) in the United States as there were homicides (19,510).
Those are some pretty scary numbers, but the most alarming ones to me are these: A study in Houston, TX interviewed survivors of nearly lethal suicide attempts, ages 13-34. Survivors of these attempts were thought to be more like suicide completers due to the medical severity of their injuries or the lethality of the methods used. They were asked: “How much time passed between the time you decided to complete suicide and when you actually attempted suicide?” One in four deliberated for less than 5 minutes! (Simon 2005)
Duration of Suicidal Deliberation:
o 24% said less than 5 minutes
o 24% said 5-19 minutes
o 23% said 20 minutes to 1 hour
o 16% said 2-8 hours
o 13% said 1 or more days
That data shines a huge spotlight on the fact that half of the suicides are planned and executed in under 20 minutes. What that tells me is that it’s of utmost importance to put the effort into prevention and intervention for the younger folks making impulsive decisions to end their lives.
Most suicidal individuals do give warning signs or signals of their intentions. The best way to prevent suicide is to recognize these warning signs and know how to respond if you spot them. If you believe that a friend or family member is suicidal, you can play a role in suicide prevention by pointing out the alternatives, showing that you care, and getting a doctor or psychologist involved. Here are some common warning signs to look out for (From Helpguide.org):
o Talking about suicide – Any talk about suicide, dying, or self-harm, such as “I wish I hadn’t been born,” “If I see you again…” and “I’d be better off dead.”
o Seeking out lethal means – Seeking access to guns, pills, knives, or other objects that could be used in a suicide attempt.
o Preoccupation with death – Unusual focus on death, dying, or violence. Writing poems or stories about death.
o No hope for the future – Feelings of helplessness, hopelessness, and being trapped (“There’s no way out”). The belief that things will never get better or change.
o Self-loathing, self-hatred – Feelings of worthlessness, guilt, shame, and self-hatred. Feeling like a burden (“Everyone would be better off without me”).
o Getting affairs in order – Making out a will. Giving away prized possessions. Making arrangements for family members.
o Saying goodbye – Unusual or unexpected visits or calls to family and friends. Saying goodbye to people as if they won’t be seen again.
o Withdrawing from others – Withdrawing from friends and family. Increasing social isolation. Desire to be left alone.
o Self-destructive behavior – Increased alcohol or drug use, reckless driving, unsafe sex. Taking unnecessary risks as if they have a “death wish.”
o A sudden sense of calm – A sudden sense of calm and happiness after being extremely depressed can mean that the person has decided to attempt suicide.
If a friend or family member tells you that he or she is thinking about death or suicide, it is important to evaluate the immediate danger the person is in. Those at the highest risk for committing suicide soon have a specific suicide PLAN, the MEANS to carry out the plan, a TIME SET for doing it, and an INTENTION to do it.
If a suicide attempt seems imminent, call a local crisis center, dial 911, or take the person to an emergency room. Remove guns, drugs, knives, and other potentially lethal objects from the vicinity AND do not, under any circumstances, leave a suicidal person alone.
If a friend or family member is suicidal, the best way to help is by offering an empathetic, listening ear. Let your loved one know that they are not alone and that you care. Do not take responsibility, however, for healing your loved one. You can offer support, but you cannot make a suicidal person get better. They must make a personal commitment to recovery.
It takes a lot of courage to help someone who is suicidal. Witnessing a loved one dealing with thoughts about ending his or her own life can stir up many difficult emotions. As you’re helping a suicidal person, do not forget to take care of yourself. Find someone that you trust—a friend, family member, clergyman, or counselor—to talk to about your feelings and get the support of your own.
To help a suicidal person(from helpguide.org) :
Get professional help. Do everything in your power to get a suicidal person the help he or she needs. Call a crisis line for advice and referrals. Encourage the person to see a mental health professional, help find a treatment facility, or take them to a doctor’s appointment.
Follow-up on treatment. If the doctor prescribes medication, make sure your friend, or loved one takes it as directed. Be aware of side effects and be sure to notify the physician if the person seems to be getting worse. It often takes time and persistence to find the medication or therapy that is right for a particular person.
Be proactive. Those contemplating suicide often do not believe they can be helped, so you may have to be more proactive at offering help. Saying, “Call me if you need anything” is too vague. Do not wait for the person to call you or even to return your calls. Drop by, call again, invite the person out.
Encourage positive lifestyle changes, such as a healthy diet, plenty of sleep, and getting out in the sun or into nature for at least 30 minutes each day. Exercise is also extremely important as it releases endorphins, relieves stress, and promotes emotional well-being.
Make a safety plan. Help the person develop a set of steps he or she promises to follow during a suicidal crisis. It should name any triggers that may lead to a suicidal crisis, such as an anniversary of a loss, alcohol, or stress from relationships. Also include contact numbers for the person’s doctor or therapist, as well as friends and family members who will help in an emergency.
Remove potential means of suicide, such as pills, knives, razors, and especially firearms. If the person is likely to take an overdose, keep medications locked away or give them out only as the person needs them.
Continue your support over the long haul. Even after the immediate suicidal crisis has passed, stay in touch with the person, periodically checking in or dropping by. Your support is vital to ensure your friend or loved one remains on the recovery track.
I will post more resources for preventing suicide on my social media. You can follow my Facebook https://www.facebook.com/alexa.gtherapy (adult-directed) or Instagram @alexagtherapy (young adult-directed) for supplemental support posts.
*Alexa Griffith, LMHC, LCAC, NCC, RPT is a Licensed Mental Health Therapist. Alexa enjoys providing individual counseling and family counseling. She also provides play therapy for children, as well as teen and adolescent counseling via telehealth or in office. Alexa's practice serves the Indianapolis area, including Carmel, Fishers, Noblesville, Zionsville, and Westfield. Learn more at AlexaGTherapy.com
Sources:
Helpguide.org
Harvard Means Matter (https://www.hsph.harvard.edu/means-matter/)
Center for Disease Control
Suicide Prevention Resource Center
Very Well Mind Understanding Suicidal Ideations
#suicideawareness #suicidepreventionmonth #suicideprevention #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealth #depression #suicide #ptsd #mentalillness #anxiety #meansmatter
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