So, you’ve made it to class, practice, the big presentation, or that date with the cutest person to have ever walked the planet and you’re a tangle of nerves. Whatever the situation is, you feel extra. Butterflies are not just in your belly, they’re about to fly out of all your face holes. You’ve tried some deep breathing. You’ve tried to meditate but your monkey brain is too wild. You need another step to get out of your head and into the here and now.
Try this: EFT Tapping.
EFT Tapping is a calming technique. EFT stands for Emotional Freedom Technique. It's designed to use your body and pressure points to help jolt you out of your head or dissociations into your body and feeling grounded. Tapping along your meridian points (read more about that here: https://www.tcmworld.org/what-is-tcm/meridian-connection/) uses your body’s own energy and pressure points to direct your healing and calming abilities. EFT has been shown to reduce feelings of sadness, anger, doubt, jealousy, and fear. We use tapping in conjunction with positive affirmations as a one-two punch to cope with big feelings. These techniques can also be used to cope with bullying, academic performance, public speaking, divorce and parental conflict, sleep, and procrastination. (You can read more about the research and science here: https://www.energiepsy.com/uploads/3/1/7/7/3177769/andrade_feinstein_paper-1.pdf). The cool thing about tapping is that you do not need any tools and tapping can be done anywhere. You may want to do it in private, but you always have it available.
So, what and where do I tap?
There are 9 tapping locations to perform the tapping technique. But before you begin tapping, you need to really isolate the feeling (mad, sad, scared, etc.) and try to rate it on a scale from 1-10. Once you have a focus, create a self-affirmation (we’ll get there in a minute). Then use the pad of your finger or nail to tap the following locations 5-7 times while stating your affirmation.
Middle pinky side of hand (karate chop)
Eyebrow just above and to one side of the nose, at the beginning of the eyebrow.
Side of the Eye
Under the Eye
Under the Nose
Chin
Collar Bone
Under the Arm
Top of the Head (TH) with fingers back-to-back down the center of the skull.
Got it, so what do I say to myself for these self-affirmations?
You’ll want to think of something that meets your own needs and helps you gain the confidence you need or beat back negative self-talk. You need to say these out loud or at least at a whisper if you’re not completely alone. You’ll want to say it as you tap - so if you tap an area 7 times, you say the affirmation 7 times. If you can’t think of any personal ones, try one of these:
I’m safe right now
Calm
I’m in control
I’m in the right place at the right time
I am worthy
I am enough
I am more than enough – I am always enough
I am loved
My job is a huge success
I create a life I love
I have enough
I am strong and healthy
I’m successful in all areas of my life
Once you complete a round of tapping with self-affirmation, remember the original feeling and number you assigned to it on the scale from 1-10. Has the feeling decreased? If not, or if you need more, repeat the above or add one or two more taps. EFT Tapping, just like with all the calming techniques such as deep belly breathing, coming to your senses, exercises, meditation etc. take practice. Like other techniques, you practice and build when you’re not overwhelmed with big feelings. Practice so that you’re good at it when you need it; when your feelings are really strong and bothersome. I hope you enjoy experimenting with different affirmations and repetitions as you learn how this technique works best for you.
*Alexa Griffith, LMHC, LCAC, NCC, RPT is a licensed mental health therapist. Alexa enjoys providing individual counseling and family counseling. She also provides play therapy for children, as well as teen and adolescent counseling via telehealth or in office.
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